Merry FYP-mas

(Photo: Daniel Wesser)

(Photo: Daniel Wesser)

Alternative titles: Happy Hanu-FYP, Joyous Kwanz-FYP, Happy holi-king’s, etc.

Alright friends, it’s that time of year again.

After the stress that went into completing exams, working 14 part-time jobs and somehow managing to make it through the month of November with only $40 in your bank account, you now get to go home and spend the next few weeks justifying all your mistakes to your family.

That’s right, the wonderful time of year where you get together with distant relatives and try to explain what you’re doing with your life. All the while trying to hide a hickey that just won’t go away.

You know what I mean, attempting to drill it into their minds that you actually don’t go to Dal, but you kind of do, or that it’s totally acceptable to eat pizza every day for lunch, or trying to explain what FYP is.

Don’t worry FYP-sters, it’s not as bad as you would think.

They will make you question everything that you’ve done in the last three months, but at least you’ll get a home-cooked meal and you’ll be able to see your beloved family pet.

For me, seeing my dog Winston always made it more than worth it.

Then, once you finally manage to semi-explain that FYP is the interdisciplinary study of Western ideas and philosophies ranging from the ancient world to modern day, there comes my all-time favourite question, “so what do you plan to do with that?”

For those of you who are out of FYP, you know damn well that you have no fucking idea.

FYP is like taking a gap year but instead of traveling and seeing the world, you get to read philosophy and attempt to write papers three hours before they’re due.

And now here you are, three years into a degree and you’re thinking, “what the fuck have I gotten myself into?”

The best answer I’ve found to give to my parents when these questions come up is to politely excuse yourself from the dinner table and to hide in your room for three days.

This will give you ample time to finally watch “Stranger Things.”

You may also notice that the topic of conversation will change between you and your family.

When talking about everyday things, you’ll now feel the need to let your father know that hell can’t “freeze over” because it’s already frozen.

The trick here is to remember that there’s a very high possibility that your parents never took FYP, and are therefore not fully able to appreciate your passion for Dante or Plato, and that’s just something you’re going to have to deal with.

But never fear past, present and future FYP students, your time at home is limited and then you are able to re-join the world of enormous student debt, overly loud and annoying roommates and infinite amounts of grilled cheese in no time.

Until then, I suggest you sit back, relax and enjoy the fact that you have time to watch television or read for pleasure. Though you should probably catch up on your readings, and maybe try to read ahead.

Who am I kidding? We all know you won’t do that.

Let’s hope in this season of giving that some of our profs choose to give us some A’s, or really, even a B+, we’re not picky.