November horoscopes!

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Scorpio

October 23-November 21

Hey birthday babies! It’s your time to shine bright like a diamond! Choose to be happy and find light in the beautiful sea. Y’all are like diamonds in the sky and deserve to be treated like it. Make sure to let everyone know it’s your birthday month so they can shower you with the love and affection that you need. Harness the energy of the sun rays and take on this day with power!

Sagittarius

November 22-December 21

Have fun this month Sagittarius – it’s gonna be a rough one and the stars are not aligned to help you out, so you’re going to have to start believing in something other than astrology to get you through this time. Maybe yourself? Woah! What a concept! 

Capricorn

December 22-January 19

Someone once said you should strive for perfection and settle for excellence. I’m sure that person was a severe overachiever and didn’t quite get that mediocrity and a sense of humour can get you pretty far, but regardless, it’s not a bad point. You’ll likely never achieve the highest you strive for, so strive for more and you’ll settle for what you wanted in the first place. Perfection is overrated anyways.

Aquarius

January 20-February 18

What does the time you shower say about you? Do you take a morning shower because you need to wake up? Or is it because you sweat so much when you sleep that you couldn’t possibly start the day until you’ve showered? Does your bed head give you fright? 

Do you shower at night because the thought of a hair that hasn’t been freshly washed touching your precious pillow case is revolting, or simply because the cooling sensation of the water eases you into sleep? All I can say for sure is anyone who showers in the middle of the day needs to reevaluate. Seriously. Get with it and pick morning or night. This midday thing has got to go.

Pisces

February 19-March 20

They say life is like a box of chocolates but it’s more like one of those mixed up bags of yarn they sell at thrift shops. It’s a bit of a mess and you’re not sure how it’ll turn out, but if you try hard enough you can untangle the mess and make something really beautiful out of it. If you don’t even try you’ll end up with a tangled mess of waste. Don’t make that choice for your life. 

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March 21-April 19

Aries, this month you may feel like a bowling pin. You may get tossed around a lot and knocked over, maybe even with one to ten other friends around you, but you’ll all get up again. It might be because a string is dragging you upright, but you’ll stand. Does how you got there really matter? You’ll get knocked down. You’ll stand stable again and your friends will stand next to you, ready for the next round. 

Taurus 

April 20-May 20

You ever hear a bird chirping in the morning and just wish that it could stop its incessant noise so you could go back to sleep? And other times you here a bird in the morning and think how blessed you are to wake to this beautiful music and what a wondrous world you live in? It’s all in the mindset, and possibly how hung-over you are. Either way, that’s something you can control this month, Taurus. You should work on controlling your mindset and see where it can take you. Maybe hold off on the liquor if that’s the problem.

Gemini

May 21-June 20 

Gemini, you may find yourself on a path blocked by a very heavy object this month. Don’t let it turn you back. Use your strength to move it and continue on your path – the one you deserve to be on. If you have no strength, go around. Go over. Go under. Build an airplane and fly over. Get a strong friend to pick you up and toss you over. I don’t care how you do it. Just don’t let this object stand in your way. 

Cancer

June 21-July 22

Today I broke the cap off my nail polish, and while I was quite sad that I had rendered my nail polish un-useable after this one application, I was also reminded of my brute strength as I painted each nail bright red and pondered how I had managed to break a glass bottle with my bare hands. Now each time I type a letter and see the red nails flow over the keys, I am reminded that I am strong enough to do anything, and I’m sure you will be too if you paint your nails red (or believe in yourself or something. I dunno. I really think it comes down to the nails and breaking items because of your unknown strength).

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July 23-August 22

Some people are going to push your limits this month, so be sure to stand your ground and push right back. They won’t even see it coming until you’ve pushed them to the ground and crushed them so bad they’ll never push your limits again. Or just talk it out. Up to you, really, what kind of person you want to be. I’m not here to tell people how to live their lives. Just to translate for the stars and add in a few touches.

Virgo

August 23-September 22

You ever see the dedication in the way a cat stalks its prey? Waiting for hours for the mouse to peak its head out and staying in the perfect position to pounce? And then a dog sees the tail end of a squirrel and goes barreling after it, dragging its poor owner along. Who usually catches their prey? It’s the cat, of course. It plans, waits and pounces. Take this into account this month, Virgo. Take your time, plan your move and then go for it when the time is just right. It may take hours, weeks, or months but the reward is worth it. If you go barreling after it like a dog you’ll end up scratching at a tree, watching your dreams scramble away from you while a voice yells and a leash tugs at you. 

Libra

September 23-October 22

Telling the truth isn’t always easy, even if you know it’s for the best. Oftentimes we struggle with finding a way that doesn’t hurt the other person, because we care about them and hurting them isn’t the intention (unless it is; then you do you). But if in an effort to not hurt someone else you’re actually hurting yourself, reconsider your priorities. Is your lying to them or not telling them something really worth it just to keep them happy? A friend said to me once, “Just hit them with the truth, and if they fall down just keep on walking. If they really care, they’ll get up again.” Keep walking, Libras! Just keep walking.