The first few FYP tutorials can be intimidating. You’re stuck in a tiny room with 12 people you don’t know, expected to talk about something you just learned half an hour ago. But once you get a hang of your group, your tutorial mates become both the key to an amazing first year and your fiercest competition. Here’s a handy guide for recognizing the types of people you’re bound to meet in your first-year tutorials at King’s — and how to take them down.
The Yapper
You’ll immediately recognize the Yapper because they talk. A lot. They’re the first to ask a question and the first to make a ridiculous comment about the day’s text. Somehow, the Yapper seems to know everything about every reading, but absolutely nothing at the same time. On the days when you don’t feel like talking, you can rely on the Yapper to keep the conversation going in a mostly productive direction.
Defeat by: Trapping them in a jinx so you can hear yourself think for a second.
The Ghost
The Ghost shows up for a couple tutorials right at the start, but after week two, they’re never seen again. Where does the Ghost go? Nobody really knows. Search parties have checked the Wardy, the quad and even the Pit, but the Ghost is the most elusive of tutorial members. By November, you might even forget they were part of your tutorial to begin with. And then suddenly … BOO! The Ghost returns on a random Wednesday in Section IV and confuses everyone with their mere presence.
Defeat by: Running into them at a party in Alex Hall and asking them what exactly they’ve been up to all year.
The Philosopher King
Unlike the first two types, the Philosopher King isn’t immediately visible to the average FYPer. They come to every tutorial, but sit silently in the corner, sometimes taking notes or doodling. Until one day, they make the most intelligent comment you’ve ever heard and you wonder why they’ve been letting anyone else speak for all these weeks. They don’t spread their wisdom often, but when they do, it’s always worth it.
Defeat by: Picking their brain as much as possible in the days leading up to oral exams and remembering a couple of their super smart phrases to impress your examiners.
The Contrarians
Despite FYP’s endless reading list, these two tutorial mates will never find a text they agree on. They’ll be Achilles and Hector, the Hobbesian and the Rousseauvian, Martin Luther and Teresa of Ávila. You might find yourself wondering if they’re just arguing for the sake of arguing or if they’re this strongly opposed to each other by nature. Either way, you’re in for some truly great debates.
Defeat by: Posing a third point of view so outrageous and ridiculous that they have no choice but to work together to prove you wrong.
The Science Student
The Science Student isn’t quite sure how they got here. They thought it would be cool to have such a diverse first year, but now they’re stuck figuring out RStudio and “Dante’s Inferno” in the same week. As the modern day Lucretius or Leibniz, the Science Student is always trying to translate their scientific genius into philosophical terms — with varying levels of success.
Defeat by: Bringing up Thursday lectures as much as possible and watching them groan in frustration.
The Professor
Chill or uptight, cool or scary, FYP tutors come in many different varieties. But underneath the surface, they’re all pretty similar. They’ve got the texts they like, the texts they can’t stand and the texts that they’ve spent a good part of their lives trying to figure out. No matter what you think of your tutor, stay on their good side and you’ll have someone pretty smart to bounce your ideas off of.
Defeat by: Writing such a good essay that they have no choice but to give you that A.
