Need clarity regarding your situationship? Unsure about the future of your relationship? Trying to clock a vibe on a crush? In honour of Valentine’s Day, get all of your romantic questions answered here with our relationship advice based on the mistakes and triumphs of some iconic FYP relationships.
A great loss: Enkidu x Gilgamesh
From that first electric debate in tutorial, you knew you were made for each other. Technically, the exact nature of your relationship was ambiguous, but everyone watching you knew the truth. Now you’re missing your twin flame, wondering what the point of anything is without them. Don’t lose hope. Listen to the wine woman (whatever that means to you).
Unequal love: Dido x Aeneas
Your love isn’t exactly one-sided, but your levels of dedication feel … unequal. If you’re worried they’ll leave you behind to journey into the underworld (read: FYP and dip to Montreal), learn from Dido’s mistakes and cut your losses. Don’t get burned!
Lesbian awakening: Sappho x women
You haven’t been able to take your eyes off her. Your heart skips a beat when her arm brushes yours. Deep down, you know the truth. Don’t deny it. There is nothing more beautiful than human emotion, love and lesbianism. Write her lyrical poetry and wallow in self pity when you see her talking to a man at Gin and Jazz. Feel it all.
Celibacy era: Augustine x self-knowledge
You’ve had your fun. But lately, hookups born from Plato’s and late-night dining hall heists feel less exciting and more … sinful. You might need a change, a step back from it all. An era focused on getting to know yourself and soul-searching so you can fulfill the true desires of the one person who actually comes first. Is that God or yourself? You decide.
Head over heels: Song of Songs
She’s like a gazelle … a young stag … a dove … You’ve been captured so totally by your lover’s spirit that all you can do is construct metaphors to describe their beauty. Maybe it’s just the honeymoon phase, but why dismiss love? “Deep waters cannot quench love, nor floods sweep it away.” Savour this (but ensure that they’re not planning to depart for Latium).
A persistent pursuer: Dante x Beatrice
Things are definitely one-sided and you’re not sure if you’re that into it, but they’d follow you to the ends of the Earth anyway. Don’t be too mean. You may be able to help them arrive at a greater, necessary truth. Don’t give them any false hope as you proceed to enlighten them. They’ll thank you later, once you’re both celibate and comfortably settled on different petals of the celestial rose in the sky.
Am I losing it?: Hamlet x Ophelia
You were so solid. Now, it’s all mixed signals, lies and gaslighting. You’re confused, heartbroken and a little scared. Don’t let them drive you crazy. Keep the receipts. Avoid brooks.
Growth comes first: Emma x Mr. Knightley
You have encyclopedic knowledge of every hookup and situationship happening at King’s in real time. You know who wants who and who should want who. In your whirlwind of gossip and King’s relationship knowledge, however, one person remains tragically solitary. You. Do you want UKCuzz? Probably, but you just don’t know who that would be! Learn from Emma’s (many) mistakes, and take a look in the mirror. Once you’ve come to know yourself, you may find your Mr. Knightley has been right in front of you all along.
