Features Horoscopes

January Horoscopes!

Capricorn. Dec. 22- Jan. 19
Only four months until this semester is over and then you can go back to whatever it is you pretend to like and complain about anyway in the summertime. You may naturally be a pessimistic person, more likely to see the negativity rather than the positive, which may be due to your birthday falling near too many holidays, which means you weren’t fully appreciated as a child. But you’re not a child anymore! Get out there and love something and start looking up.
Your lucky colour this month is latte-foam-white.
Aquarius. January 20-Feb 18
Ah Aquarius, what a lucky time for you. The stars have aligned just right so that you can do anything you want this month, with absolutely no consequences. None at all. All of your wildest and darkest desires can finally come out this month in their full glory. Literally nothing can go wrong. You’ll never have to live with that ‘what if’ question, because this month the stars will protect you. This is a rare occurrence, for all the stars to be lined up just right, so take advantage or wish that you had.
Your lucky colour this month is soft-serve vanilla ice cream white.
Pisces. Feb. 19-March 20
You’re in for a rough one this month, I’m afraid. The stars are all out of whack and they’re going to do the same for your life. It’ll probably take most of the month to rein them in. But don’t get discouraged just yet. While the stars are figuring their sh** out, maybe you could too. It’s a great opportunity, after all. Things can get out of hand real easily sometimes and you might need this push to get things back in line. Only if that’s what you want though! Nothing inherently wrong with seeing just how out of hand things can get before completely ruining your life. Nothing inherently wrong.
Your lucky colour this month is snow-white.
Aries. March 21-April 19
Change is coming. It’s kind of like that winter woods song where the only lyric they could think of was change is coming, and the whole song you’re waiting for a change to come (in the lyrics) and it never does! The whole song they just talk about change as if it’s going to magically appear. You’ve got to make it happen. Change ain’t just coming your way like the wind. You need to get out there and direct it.
Your lucky colour this month is eggshell-white.
Taurus. April 20-May 20
These blustery cold days call for hot beverages and cuddling underneath blankets. But don’t worry if you don’t have anyone to cuddle with this season. You may be sad and alone, but at least you get all the covers to yourself and never have to feel someone else’s cold feet. Rejoice in the wins.
Your lucky colour this month is cloud-white.
Gemini. May 21-June 20
I was waiting to board a flight recently at 4 a.m. when the airline personnel made an announcement offering fresh organic air before boarding. My brain on three hours of sleep took a few too many moments to realize they meant we had to walk outside in the -20° weather in order to get on the plane, and based on the slow ripple of laughter that filled the room as people’s tired minds slowly caught on, I wasn’t the only one suffering from sleep deprivation. I encourage you to take two lessons from this. Recognize the concerted effort people are making to make your day better, like the airline personnel knowing a joke will ease flight tensions and get some fresh organic Canadian air despite the temperatures.
Your lucky colour this month is milk-white.
Cancer. June 21-July 22
If you’ve already failed at your New Year’s resolution, don’t worry because you’re in the majority. But remember that the majority of people get divorced as well so being in the majority group isn’t always the better option. Lucky for you Jan. 1st is an arbitrary day chosen to change your life and because of that, you can arbitrarily pick any other day and do the exact same thing. No one will ever be the wiser. I’m sure many of us set goals of a sort at the beginning of a day, sometimes when you’re feeling good. Then you get out of bed and and feel the cold floor against your feet, look at the clock and realize you spent too long thinking about what a great day this was going to be. Now you’re going to be late, and suddenly those goals have vanished just like the warmth of your blankets. Nothing wrong with that. Just know you can start over the next hour, the next day or the next week. No need to wait unitl 2020.
Your lucky colour this month is napkin-white.
Leo. July 23-Aug. 22
This month could be a challenge for those of you who struggle with cold temperatures, and so I challenge you to challenge that fear and find something you like that involves facing those frosty days and nights. It could be getting Beaver Tails at the Oval (skating completely optional), admiring the snowy trees in Point Pleasant, skiing up at Martock or finding a frozen lake around the city to slip and skate to your heart’s content. It doesn’t have to be for long but it will make returning to your blankets so much more rewarding and make staying into study look like a pretty good option.
Your lucky colour this month is old man hair white.
Virgo. Aug. 23-Sept. 22
Time to get real and move on from whatever it is that is running (and ruining) your life, clouding your judgement and holding you back. It might be hard to tell yourself the truth and come to terms with the fact that you’re the one who’s been holding yourself back this entire time, but you’ve got to or the dark cloud that’s been following you around will eventually start a torrential downpour — and you don’t know how far that downpour could spread. You may be okay with making your own life a sopping mess, but the lives of your closest friends and family? Think about it before trying to push the darkness down even further.
Your lucky colour this month is old-sock-white.
Libra. Sept. 23-Oct. 22
Hey Libras. Your stars were real hard to read this month due to the extreme cloud weather and so I apologize for the potential misinterpretation. But you either have to get out there and kick some serious a** or make sure you spend as many hours as possible behind your locked front door, because you’re about to be on the receiving end of someone else kicking some serious a**. Pretty contradictory, I know. My humble human advice would be to stay sharp and stay safe, and if you feel this is your month then go for it. But don’t feel guilty if going to get more hot chocolate powder is an enormous terrifying chore.
Your lucky colour this month is sugar-white.
Scorpio. Oct. 23-Nov. 21
I’m ever so sleepy as I write this, as my day was long and tiring but fulfilling. Scorpios, when you’re feeling tired and exhausted and overworked, look back on the day or the week and see if it was fulfilling or just plain tiring. If it’s the latter, you know you’ve got to switch something up, but if it’s the former, and you’re still taking care of yourself, lean in, be tired and be happy.
Your lucky colour this month is buttercream-icing-white.
Sagittarius. Nov. 22-Dec. 21
Sensible is your word of the month. Try to bring it into everything that you do, but also recognize its drawbacks. Being sensible doesn’t mean playing it safe, not taking risks and staying in your comfort zone, but it might mean recognizing when to do those sorts of things and when not to. Sometimes the only sensible things to do is take risks and step out of your comfort zone as often as possible, because otherwise you’re not really living life. The key is that being sensible is different for every person. Sensible is, according to the Oxford English Dictionary, defined as “Chosen in accordance with wisdom; likely to be of benefit.” With such varying levels of wisdom, it’s no surprise that they are various levels of sensible, and you’ve got to find yours this month.
Your lucky colour this month is paper-plate-white.

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