Dragging ourselves out of the stagnancy of winter break, after weeks of lounging in bed, neglecting to exercise and reverting to teenage angst, it’s tempting to see January 1 as a fresh start. It’s a clean slate. A new beginning. A chance to vow that this will be the year we finally eat better, exercise better, sleep better, study better. This year, we will be better!

But as January creeps on, most of us abandon our resolutions. Despite our ambitious expectations for self-improvement, we fail to make meaningful changes to our lives. Instead of feeling reinvented and revitalized, we are overwhelmed with the same burn out, guilt and insecurity that inspired us to make those lofty resolutions in the first place. 

Why do we keep doing this to ourselves? Why do we keep setting resolutions that continually disappoint us?

Part of the answer lies in our obsession with comparison: everywhere you look, there is someone smarter, healthier, more successful and more disciplined than you. Resolutions are a salve to the sting of comparison — a promise that if you try hard enough, you can unlock the smarter, healthier, more successful, more disciplined version of yourself. 

But I’d argue that when our resolutions fail, it isn’t because we aren’t trying hard enough. It isn’t laziness or a lack of effort. It’s because our resolutions are fueled by the belief that who you are right now is not good enough. If your motivation comes from guilt, shame or dissatisfaction with yourself, every slip-up feels like confirmation that you’re failing. And when every moment is measured by how much it contributes to becoming “better,” contentment starts to feel like complacency, and staying the same feels wrong. 

Instead of setting unattainably high goals, maybe it’s worth looking inwards — why do you want to change? Is it because you feel you have room to grow, or is it because you’re incapable of sitting with yourself and being happy where you are?

Maybe you’ll find there are changes you genuinely want to make; no one is arguing that you’re not allowed to grow. But stop waiting for the “right time” to start working on yourself. There’s no such thing as a fresh start or a clean slate; you’re the same person on January 1 that you were on December 31. If something is worth doing, it’s worth starting on a random Tuesday — no resolution required. So stop waiting for a new beginning, and start growing for yourself, no matter what time of year it is.