September Horoscopes

Horoscopes – September 2019

September begins in the star sign of Virgo under the rule of mercury, which lasts until the 22; afterwards, we move into Libra under the rule of Venus. Many planets, as well as the sun, which isn’t a planet, will transit in the Leo sign early in the month before moving into Virgo. This change marks the end of summer and the establishment of the scholarly regimen. Ha, and you thought you were done with all this back-to-school business!

Now, most of you are probably just going to read your own horoscope and be done with it, and honestly, I’d do the same. But for those of you who know your moon sign, I’d highly suggest reading into that as well; for those of you who don’t know your moon sign, come back when you are ready.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Favour shines on you with the sun in the second half of the month. During that time, a somewhat cynical character in your readings will show you a perspective you hadn’t thought of before. Probably for a good reason. Study buddies may pose a hindrance to your work ethic, so consider studying alone before going out with friends – not that you’ll have time to do either, really. You will be given a chance to display your leadership skills before the end of this month, but may come head-to-head with someone equally competent. Don’t let your competitive side get the better of you – instead, use this as an opportunity to work alongside someone you have a lot to learn from.

Your lucky colour this month is toreador red.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Tauruses can expect the month to be a mixed bag of positive, negative, and neutral experiences. Your routine will be disrupted unexpectedly by a well-meaning person; try not to tear them to shreds in your fury, but kindly accept or reject their offer as you wish. It’s a good idea to be kind in general, really. Take time on a Monday or a Friday to go for a walk somewhere you haven’t been before – a combination of a new place and the ability to return home will bring peace to your day. Trust me, you need this.

Your lucky colour this month is quad green.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

The sun shines on you in the first half of the month; after that, venus is your guiding force of energy. Take that however you like. You will find that a prominent philosopher’s words can accurately describe your emotional trip through this month. It could be anywhere from Plato’s “music gives life to everything uwu” to Diogenes’ “BEHOLD! A MAN!” If you’re not in FYP, be conscious of major decisions concerning finances; meaning, prepare to waste a couple hundred bucks on something meaningless and pray you learn from your mistakes. Hang out in the quad as much as you can, and try to take a moment each day to close your eyes and breathe. Whatever is happening right now, it will soon be gone. So will your three hundred dollars.

Your lucky colour this month is plucked-chicken yellow.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Be wary of staying cooped up indoors for too long this month – you might develop cabin fever! Fun! For cancers seeking to get away from it all, try going for a swim at the Dal Plex or walking down to the harbour – being near the water will calm you down and bring you courage. Mm, feel those ocean waves. Feel them. Touch them. Throw yourself into them screaming. If you find you’re not getting enough sleep, try stargazing for ten minutes every night before you go to bed. If you can find a star anywhere above the haze of light pollution, be sure to write to us. Specifically to me. I’m flying blind here, folks.

Your lucky colour this month is wax moon-white.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

The sun shines on you at the beginning of the month before turning its orbit to Virgo. Since this could be interpreted as an allegory for the spotlight moving away from you, you’ll likely fall into a state of nihilistic meaninglessness. It’s especially important to be proactive during this time, so that you can take your mind off your self-pity – ideally, focus your attention on actual work instead. Try saving your Sundays to go out and about and explore the city. If you plan on doing so, wear something appropriately flashy, and take a phone or camera to take pictures as you go – let’s be real, you’re a Leo, odds are you’re very photogenic and definitely aware of it.

Your lucky colour this month is Sharpie gold.

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

This is your month, Virgo girl/boy/non-binary child/gremlin. Own it! Venture outside your room this month and talk to new people – much like Cancer, staying indoors for too long will wear you down emotionally. Travelling in large groups of people in the daytime will bring you the most joy this month. Also probably the most headaches, because for a Virgo more friends mean more children to herd. If Wednesdays are your busy days, make sure that you don’t leave any task up in the air on Tuesday night so you can actually get a wink of sleep.

Your lucky colour this month is stylish beige. Which is also an oxymoron.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

The 23 of the month marks the transition into Libra season! You may feel a sudden boost of energy and confidence in the last week of September, which will culminate in a Friday night to remember for years to come. You get to decide whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing. When out and about, an even number of friends is a good sign; an odd number is unlucky. You will be approached by an acquaintance about a foray into the wilderness – embrace your feral nature and accept.

Your lucky colour this month is a cat nose pink.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Jupiter, the planet of growth and auspiciousness, transits in Scorpio this month. This will likely lead to an elevated sense of understanding in the course material, especially about ancient Greece and Rome – be prepared for literally everyone asking to borrow your study notes. Though it may get easier, your fast-paced course load may overwhelm you at times – if you’re finding that you haven’t been fully awake since Labor Day, try writing a few lines in a journal every day as soon as you wake up. Even if it’s just “I have nothing to write. It’s too early for emotions. I’m tired. Bleh.”

Your lucky colour this month is that weird black-red you see when you close your eyelids.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

They say there’s nothing a Sagittarius fears more than the feeling of constraint, so this month Sagittarii are advised to go for a runway out into the distance and scream into the void. If you’ve been feeling like you don’t understand the course work recently, don’t worry – no one else does, either. Especially not other Sagittarii. If you’ve been trying to stick to a schedule and all else has failed, take a few hours over the weekend to romp around outside like a puppy and forget that time exists.

Your lucky colour is morning sky blue.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

The sky is clear for Capricorns this month as we settle into the new school year. Planning a schedule, getting work done, and preparing to handle any last-minute assignments are not much of a problem for you. However, if you find you’re lying awake at night unable to stop thinking about the first essay, it may be a good idea to contact your family and friends back home. Or talk to our on-campus social worker or trusted adult. Remind yourself that a good balance of optimism and realism is what allows you to truly grow.

Your lucky colour this month is midnight black.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

This month will be a challenge for you, to put it nicely. Stress will probably tamper with your ability to remember things, so if you find you’re forgetting important details… well, I had a suggestion, but now I can’t remember it. Huh. A past embarrassment or trauma may circle around your mind this month. To avoid launching yourself headfirst into emotional hell, encourage yourself to speak up more often in tutorials – you may end up starting an actual conversation.

Your lucky colour this month is middle-age grey.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Pisces folk are encouraged to spend as much time daydreaming as they need to this month (especially in lecture hall. C’mon, you know you wanna). Try visiting the Wardroom on Thursday afternoons and sitting by the piano, even if you don’t play – experiment with the sound and the feel of the keys. Breathe in the piano. Feel the piano. Get kicked out for gently caressing the piano and making the other patrons feel very uncomfortable. If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed recently, try going for a walk in the woods and imagining you can see fairies. Then actually see fairies. Then cast off your human skin and join them, side by side, as the manic pixie you were always meant to be.

Your lucky colour this month is psychedelic lilac.

By David J. Shuman

David is the current editor-in-chief of The Watch and writes on student issues and events. Find him on Twitter: @DavidJShuman

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